Men, do you want your woman bow at your feet? Ladies, do you want your man to give you everything you ever ask for? As Pastor Miles says, following the example of Ruth and Boaz in the Book of Ruth creates a win-win situation in dating and marriage.
We must also remember that people do not complete other people. Only Christ completes people, and He is the person we really need in our lives.
In seeking a godly spouse, we first must be fully committed to God, faithful at all costs, physically and mentally pure (whether single or married), and willing to keep temptation as far away as possible. When discussing marriage and dating, we must also remember that people do not complete other people (regardless of what Jerry Maguire says). Only Christ completes people, and He is the person we really need in our lives.
1. Virtuous women have their priorities in order. Ruth 2:1-7
If you want a good man, you have to be a good woman.
In Ruth 2:1-7, Boaz sees Ruth in the field gleaning (gathering the fallen grain), taking care of herself and her mother-in-law. She is doing what is necessary to provide for her family. Boaz immediately recognizes this as an honorable action.
2. Godly men place a woman’s needs before their own desires. Ruth 2:8-10
Boaz doesn’t come to Ruth, turn on his manly charms, and attempt to take advantage of her. Rather, he takes care of her. He ensures her protection and provision. Yes, Ruth falls on her face and bows to the ground, but essentially, Boaz has “bowed down” to her first.
The Bible instructs a wife to submit to her husband as unto the Lord, but remember that the Lord loved the church first and laid down his life for her. Likewise, Boaz is always ahead of Ruth, taking care of her needs first.
3. Virtuous women do not take shortcuts.
A virtuous woman is rare and special, and she doesn’t take shortcuts to get her way. She doesn’t wear revealing clothing in order to work her manipulation and win a man. She trusts the Lord, waits on Him, and honors God, His ways, and His timing.
Also, whether you are a man or woman looking to date someone, take time to do a background check as Boaz does (v. 5-12). Talk to his/her pastor. Find out his/her interests and reputation in various aspects of his/her life. Ask for the phone numbers of past girlfriends/boyfriends! This may sound silly or strange, but if you think about it, you can yourself a lot of heartache if you take the time to gather information before giving away your heart.
4. Godly men consistently exercise self-control. Ruth 3:8-15
The reason why many men do things they shouldn’t do because they decide to do so. A man must decide: “Am I going to be a man of God or not?” Living it out is all discipline. Pastor Miles likened this to players in the NFL; some of them are simply very talented, but many more of them are in the NFL but because of their commitment and discipline.
Dating gets a bad rap because it is often done wrong. As followers of Jesus, we must put guidelines around our dating processes. We need to first walk with God ourselves, so that we can recognize whether or not a potential girlfriend/boyfriend is walking with God. Observe each other for a while before dating. Get to know what the other person does with his/her time, how he/she handles different emotions, and what kind of a reputation the person’s actions carry. Beyond that, when you do date, protect your virtue and be wise—don’t play with fire! Be careful not to place yourself at the mercy of lust by being in a situation where you are alone and able to act on physical desires.
How far is too far? Whatever causes someone to lust! Matthew 5:27-30
5. Godly men, in the end, handle their business. Ruth 3:18
Then she said, “Sit still, my daughter, until you know how the matter will turn out; for the man will not rest until he has concluded the matter this day.”
Naomi tells Ruth that Boaz is sure to settle the matter and solidify the relationship in an honorable way. His actions thus far have proven his godly character and his intentions.
Boys do what they want to do. Men do what they must do! (Ladies, you want a MAN that does the right thing, not a BOY that does as he pleases.)