Wired for Relationships
It is not good that man be alone. God created us so that we could have what God has and enjoy what He enjoys – a loving relationship within the Trinity:
- The Father sent the Son. John 3:16
- The Son sent the Holy Spirit. John 14:16
- The Holy Spirit points people to Jesus and Jesus brings us to the Father.
- The persons of the Trinity work together and have special roles that reflect and glorify each other.
The Father and Son love each other and they want us to share in the oneness of that love. John 17:20-26 A relationship is defined as an interdependence between people where (equal) give-and-take exists.
There are three kinds of love:
- Eros love - Love for pleasure’s sake. It’s all about the self wanting to feel good. It is not necessarily based on reality or seeing the negative points about a person. Song of Solomon 1:2
- Phileo love - Love for mutual benefit’s sake. This is a more mature, factual-based love. It is about loving someone in spite of their faults. Matthew 10:37, John 12:25
- Agape love - Love for love’s sake, unselfish, covenantal love. John 3:16, 1 Corinthians 13
The right brain is responsible for feelings and emotions, whereas the left brain is responsible for facts and problem solving. In agape love, we can integrate the feelings we have with knowledge and facts about the other person.
Some facts about love:
- God is love. 1 John 4:8
- Loving God means being obedient to Him. 1 John 5:3
- Love is based on truth, not feeling. 2 John :6
God loved us first so that we can love Him in return. He renews our minds by teaching us about His character. When we develop agape love for God, we trust God based on the facts we know about Him and we decide to be obedient in spite of our fear.
Compatibly Wired - Genesis 2:15-25
- Men and women are compatibly wired to develop a safe-haven.
In every relationship there is a gatekeeper (protector) and a nurturer (to bond the two together).
- Men and women are compatibly wired for lifelong oneness.
God created men and women with specific hormones to solidify a safe and shameless one-flesh union. These provide sensations of pleasure, bonding, and intimacy.
- Men and women are compatibly wired as a salvation metaphor.
God gave sex in marriage as a metaphor for salvation. It is a blood covenant and a life-giving union.
Sex is a mood-altering experience and involves pleasure and bonding. It requires a marriage commitment because our brains were biologically designed to bond with and commit to one partner.
Promiscuity, real or imaginary as in porn, rewires our brain for multiple partners. It confuses the brain and interferes with true intimacy in a committed relationship.
Lust is all about pleasing the self at the expense of others, whereas love is self-sacrificial. Lust wants to get, whereas love seeks to give.
The facts of rape and molestation is that it is about power, not sex. It is usually planned, and rapists will attack again and again. If you have been violated in this way, be sure to tell someone. The violation was not your fault. Don’t let it keep you from fulfilling relationships. You are still God’s treasure and He has a good will for your life.
Bo Knows Women
The story of Boaz and Ruth can teach us about godly relationships and how men and women should treat one another.
Virtuous women have their priorities in order and do not take short cuts. Ruth 2:1-7, 3:1-4
Godly men place a woman’s needs before their desires. They don’t seek to gain for their own interests at the expense of her reputation or her needs. Ruth 2:8-10
How do you know how far is too far? Whatever causes someone to lust! (Matthew 5:27-30) Remember that love is sacrificial while lust is self-serving.