In this new series we will explore The Five Love Languages, or the ways we express love and receive love. If you express love differently than the person receiving your love does, there can be a disconnect that causes the person not to feel as loved as you intend for him/her to feel.
There’s also a correlation between your love for people and your love for God.
There’s also a correlation between your love for people and your love for God. God created all of us in His image so that we may enjoy loving relationships with Him and with each other.
If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 1 John 4:20
Some of us love people in a very selfish way, seeking our own pleasure or benefit. If you love people to get something for yourself, you will likely approach your relationship with God the same way: for your own selfish purposes.
How can we truly love God and people, as well as truly receive His love for us? For the next several weeks, we will look at each of the love languages and how they play out in our relationships with others as well as with God.
The Five Love Languages:
1. Words of Affirmation - Psalm 104:1
If you know someone who is constantly encouraging others, his/her love language is probably Words of Affirmation. If it’s not your love language, you may not enjoy hearing those words or getting that type of attention!
2. Gifts - Romans 12:1-2
Gifts people like to give things and receive things. They are the type of people who might write you a card “just because” or buy you a keychain because they saw it and thought of you. They also really appreciate receiving things from others, as it lets them know that the giver was thinking of them.
3. Quality Time - Psalm 46:10
Quality time with a loved one doesn’t necessarily have to accomplish anything. Rather, it is just spending time together and being present/undistracted. This can be very difficult if you are a doer who likes to use time to the maximum!
4. Acts of Service - Mark 10:45
When people have Acts of Service as a love language, they do nice things for others and appreciate nice things being done for them. Maybe they’ll clean up your desk, wash your car, run errands, or cook a meal for you in order to show that they care.
5. Physical Touch - Matthew 17:7
Some people like to be hugged, patted, or have their hair tousled or hand held. When physical touch is not a person’s love language, being touched may feel irritating or strange to the person.
So how do love languages relate to God? How you love God is how you worship God, so these are all ways to worship Him.
You can give words of affirmation to God through song or speech in proclaiming or declaring His goodness. You can give gifts to God by giving Him your heart and offering yourself to Him, living for Him each day (Romans 12:1). You can give God the worship of quality time, reading or listening to His Word. You can devote acts of service to Him by joining a small group or a ministry and making yourself available to selflessly serve others on His behalf. And Jesus himself expressed love with physical touch by using His hands to heal or comfort people. When empowered by God, we can do these same things.
- Worship is “Expressed Love.”
When our hearts express love and admiration to God, be it through singing or through being quiet, we are worshiping Him. In Greek, “worship” means to kiss and adore, so when we do anything to express our adoration of God, we are worshiping.
- True lovers worship God by loving according
to the love language of the one being loved. Hebrews 10:24
Loving others means loving them according to THEIR love languages, not our own. When Jesus died on the cross for us, this was the ultimate example of sacrificial love. He didn’t die because it was pleasant or fun for Him – in fact, He asked the Father if there was any other way – but He did it because that was what we needed. He unselfishly put others before Himself.
And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works…Hebrews 10:24
- True lovers become more like God when they
love Him His way.John 17:20
For example, if you’re a gift giver and the person you love does not have Gifts as a love language, s/he doesn’t want things and won’t feel very loved by receiving gifts. We must learn to deny ourselves and be a blessing to others. Equally, we must learn to love God according to what blesses Him, not what benefits us.
Practice loving people according to what blesses them. The more you deny yourself, the more you will become like Christ. But if you stay in a bubble and make your days all about what you want, you will miss the point!
We love Him because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19
God sent His Son to die for you. He wants to love you, but you need to receive Him first so that you can express this supernatural love to others.
Next step in becoming a “True Lover”:
Identify your love language and that of one person you care about. To learn more about the 5 Love Languages, go to www.5lovelanguages.com.