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Praying While Waiting
By Esli Medrano

Esli is a 33-year-old, single woman. As a ministry leader here at Rock Church, Esli is responsible for overseeing the Microsites that meet all across San Diego County, and she loves what she does! Recently, Esli committed to praying for her future husband. 

To see the list Esli has committed to praying over her future spouse (and to join her in these prayers for YOUR future spouse) click here.

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Single friends. Do you want to be a man and woman of God? Do you want to be a godly wife or husband? A godly girlfriend or boyfriend? I hope your answer is yes!

I’ve heard that it’s hard to pray for your future spouse for 70+ days. I’ve heard that it’s hard to keep loving when nothing has changed. I have heard is hard to hold on to hope. I have heard that this only praying thing is not working. I have even been asked why I encourage others to keep praying when I'm still single. 

Here is the thing…Or 5 things I want to say.

1) Stop thinking only about yourself.
News flash! This life is not about you! If you are a true Christ follower, know that this life is not about you.

If you think that your man or woman is there to make you happy and meet all your needs, you are so wrong! And probably super unhappy too!

This life is about JESUS!

We have one mission: To go and make disciples! To baptize them and to teach them to obey the commands! Your needs and desires are not part of the mission! 

My hope and desire in creating my prayer list (click here for more information) isn't to create a checklist of things to change in the man I hope will be my husband. It was intended to love my future spouse through prayer. 

Focusing on the things that your boyfriend / girlfriend / spouse needs to change doesn't create change! (And often, it's you that needs to change a few things too!) 

2) Our future spouse's walk with the Lord is important.

The 70+ things I have on my list are areas of a man's life I knew I have no control over. So I started praying instead. This list is intended to cover our future spouses with God's protection and grace. For all those blind spots and temptations that we are unable to foresee, God can pour out His love and mercy on our future spouse!

3) If you can’t pray now, what’s the point?

Yes, 70+ days is a long time. I am not gonna lie! It’s hard to pray and pray and expect for God to do something and then feel like God is taking His sweet time. 

But here is the thing. If you are single, you should be getting in the habit of praying for your future spouse because this will set you up for success in your marriage! A praying wife and a praying husband are powerful for marriage! So start now!

4) Don’t just get convicted.

This is how I like to explain conviction: I see myself in the mirror and I think, "That’s it! Tomorrow, I am gonna go to the gym! I am eating healthy! I am saying 'no' to ice cream!"

In my heart, I honestly made a decision. I honestly with all my heart repented of eating ice cream at night and I made a decision to be fit. Then tomorrow came and my crazy schedule (and my lazy butt) made it hard to go to the gym. I woke up late so I couldn’t prepare my healthy meals. And for dinner, I had ice cream because it was too late to do something.

Can I call myself fit? No. Even though I made a heartfelt decision, I cannot call myself fit.

It's the same concept with being convicted to be a godly man or woman. You can make the decision and really come to a heart moment and tell God, “Father, I am gonna be the kind of woman (or man) that You want!” But if you forget to read His Word, pray, serve, sacrifice, and die to self, can you call yourself a godly man or woman? 

The enemy loves it when we get convicted! He does! What he hates is when we start doing something about it…He loves it when we get convicted because that’s his way to trick us into thinking that because we made a decision to change that makes us good and godly.

5) Our Heavenly Father listens to his children! 

Psalm 37:4 says "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Prayer brings us into alignment with the Father's will for us. Prayer gives us the opportunity to ask God to provide for us, to bring that spouse, to work on that man or woman's heart (and don't forget that He needs to work on yours too)! Delight in the Lord through your time with Him and He promises to give you your hearts desires (you might even find that He changes your desires to align with His if they don't already). 

Friends. In this season of "waiting" for your future spouse, use every opportunity you have to become the man and woman of God that would be worth marrying. Ask God to work on you and to work on your future spouse so when the perfect time arrives, you are both ready to step into the future God has had planned for you. Be encouraged that God hears you, He loves you, and you are not in this alone!