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Relationship Goals - Part 4, X-Men
Miles McPherson - April 2, 2017

Message Recap

In Genesis 2, God said that it was not good for man to be alone. Adam alone could not fulfill the purposes God had intended for humankind, so He created Eve, and the two became one. God created humans in His image to have a relationship with Him and with one another. 

Today’s message covers God’s intention for oneness in sex, how the devil uses sexual sin in an attempt to destroy God’s design, and how God can restore and renew what has been broken.

The devil wants to destroy God’s creation and thwart God’s intentions. He wants to destroy your ability to have a relationship with God because you will not be able to display His image with power if you are no longer connected to the Source. He wants to poison our perceptions of and interactions with other people so that we will not fulfill God’s purposes for human relationships. At the top of his list of relationships to destroy is the marriage relationship. If he can prevent humans from experiencing supernatural oneness that God intended a husband and wife to have, then they will not reflect the oneness of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Today’s message covers God’s intention for oneness in sex, how the devil uses sexual sin in an attempt to destroy God’s design, and how God can restore and renew what has been broken.

God intended for a man to be united with his wife as one flesh (Genesis 2:24). This oneness occurs on many levels: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially, financially, etc. Nothing is hidden between them. But the devil desires to destroy this oneness with sin.

Is all sin the same to God? No. Just as Jesus says that one commandment (You shall love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, and soul) is the greatest, different sins also have different consequences. Obviously, stealing a candy bar has a much different impact than murdering another person. The Apostle Paul speaks to this point concerning sexual sin in 1 Corinthians 6:18:

Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

Sinning against your own body may seem like a strange concept, but there are many dangers associated with sex outside of marriage, such as disease, heartache, and unwanted pregnancy. Contraceptives can safeguard against some of these, but they can’t protect your reputation, keep you from spiritual pain, block unwanted images in your head for the rest of your life, restore your broken dreams, or prevent you from ruining your ability to emotionally bond with someone in a godly way.

We live in a sexually deviant and free culture. You can argue whether your sexual practices are right or wrong, but the easiest way to test them is to examine the fruit of your actions. Do they bring life or death? Are they spreading disease, causing heartache, inciting addiction, or ruining your ability to bond with one person as God intended? If so, then they cannot also be pleasing to God.

1. The brain is designed to be joined to one partner. Genesis 2:24-25

To expound on this point, Pastor Miles explained some basics functions of the two hemispheres of the brain.

RIGHT BRAIN - Processes feelings, experiences the “here and now.”

LEFT BRAIN – Storage of facts and problem solving

Physical intimacy is both a bonding experience and a pleasurable experience, and when brain neurons fire together, they wire together. The right brain experiences the intimacy in real time through your senses, and the left brain stores the information for later recall - to recognize the face or the smell of a person’s hair, etc., so that essentially, that person gets “wired into your brain.”

Additionally, God created your body to release the bonding hormone oxytocin with physical intimacy. This happens when a mother breastfeeds her baby or when two humans have contact for more than ten seconds. Your body design reveals that God wants you to experience bonding and oneness with another person.

2. A brain attempting to join to multiple partners will enslave you to self-destruction.

Jesus answered them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin.” John 8:34

When you seek sexually sinful behaviors again and again, you actually become dependent on your sin. Having multiple sexual partners or regularly viewing pornography distorts the brain’s ability to properly process the appropriate bonding as it was designed to do. Images, sounds, imagination, and conversations of pornography are stored as real experiences, yet the left brain is unable to wire/bond to all those different people. So instead of creating oneness, these behaviors create a bonding void, which a person will then attempt to fill with more sexual pleasure. This creates a sin cycle and can lead to a sexual addiction.

If a married couple watches pornography together to enhance their relationship, it can only have the opposite effect. As far as their brains are concerned, they are bringing hundreds of other people into their bed. Thus bonding cannot take place the way it was intended.

Pastor Miles once had a young man ask him if masturbation is wrong. The answer is really a series of questions you should ask yourself: What’s going on in your brain? What are you thinking about? Are you bonding with someone with whom God wants to bond you? Are you destroying your ability to bond? Answering these will help you find the answer to your question. It’s not necessarily about do’s and don’t’s, but about understanding that a loving God designed you to glorify Him. If you use His gift in the wrong way, then it only brings destruction rather than glory.

3. A brain can be rewired through submission to God. Romans 12:1-2

If you have committed sexual sin or have not been pursuing God’s purposes for you regarding sex, it’s not too late to change course. God can renew your mind and bring healing, but this begins by first aligning with His plans for you and submitting your body to His service and glory, rather than your own.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.Romans 12:1-2

Let’s examine these verses:

Presenting your body as a living sacrifice means to surrender it to Him so that it can function - in all of its parts - in a way that glorifies the Lord. It’s not about your own rights to your body in defiance to God, but about bringing glory to the One who entrusted you with the stewardship of that body.

Holy means set aside for a purpose, and acceptable to God means that He’ll be pleased with what you present to Him.

Do not be conformed to this world means that we seek different values and pursuits than the world does. As a Christ-follower, you are a citizen of heaven living in a foreign land. The two are in conflict, so you need to decide every day which values you will pursue.

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind implies that a change is happening. God wants to renew your mind and cleanse your body, your heart, and your desires.

Pastor Miles’ challenge to us today is to turn to God with a desire to be pure and commit to following His design for this area of your life, whether single or married. See God’s long-term perspective for your sexual life. If you are single, wait to pursue intimacy until you are married. Surrender your body as a living sacrifice to the Lord and receive His healing, cleansing, and a pure heart!

Relationship Goals

This 7-part series shares biblical principles to create healthy relationships modeled after the Trinity. In Part 4, Pastor Miles discusses God’s intention for oneness in sex, how sexual sin destroys, and how God can restore what has been broken.

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