May is a month where we have the opportunity to celebrate the women who have been mothers to us in many ways. Each woman has a special journey and story to tell when it comes to their moms or being a mother and Fallon is no different. Growing up, Fallon was a star student, cheerleader, pageant queen, and all around "good" girl. She always dreamed of being a mother, but never dreamed that her journey to becoming one would be a long and difficult road.
“From my earliest and most innocent memories I wanted to be a mommy,” she remembers. “From changing and feeding my dolls to pushing my baby brother around in my play stroller I knew there was a huge part of my heart that always wanted babies and to be called the coveted name ‘mommy’." Fallon dreamed of all those precious moments she would share with her children: their first steps, their personalities, teaching them about Jesus, tucking them in and singing lullabies. The dreams were endless.
Over 10 years ago at San Diego Christian College, Fallon met Mingo Palacios and the two of them were immediately hooked. They married young in Fallon’s last year of college and spent their first few years together as many young, newlyweds often do (on a budget, in a small apartment, enjoying the simple life). The couple was offered an opportunity to live in Germany for a few months working with U.S. Military kids whose families were stationed there. From there, they took every advantage of being young and in love and accepted all the adventures the Lord threw their way. “There was ministry, moving to Europe, taking risks, getting lost on the streets of Singapore, dancing under the Eiffel tower, sharing the gospel in the jungles of New Guinea, drinking hot chocolate while watching the snow fall on the Alps, zip lining over the hot jungles of Costa Rica, making friends that would turn into family and trying new things for the first time over and over again.” About three years into their marriage they decided they were willing to put the travels on a brief pause to start considering beginning their family.
It was then that I started journaling more about thankfulness than sorrow and took my rightful place back as a daughter of the King and heir to the great Kingdom that was to come.
Fallon, still in her mid-twenties, never thought the process of becoming a mom would be so difficult for them. With a laugh, she remembers that they talked about the ideal month for their baby to be born, and started trying nine months before that. “We never thought that it would be difficult for us to have children, but after a year of trying we started to become discouraged. It seemed as though everywhere I looked people were getting pregnant on accident or within their first month of trying and almost every day people would ask us when we were going to get serious and start trying for kids of our own.” Jokingly, people would tell Fallon she needed to start “drinking the water”, but they had no idea about the heartbreak she was experiencing. During this emotional year, Fallon spent many days in the bathroom crying over negative pregnancy tests and broken dreams, but she fell at the feet of Jesus like never before. Countless tests and exams continued to lead to inconclusive results and Fallon was diagnosed with “unknown infertility”, which basically means there is nothing wrong (that doctors can find) with neither Mingo nor Fallon.
Eventually, her doctor recommended a plan of action that finally led to a successful pregnancy in 2011. This child, whom they had prayed for so fervently, was finally on his way. They celebrated with what she calls a joyful disbelief for their miracle baby.
Bravery Jude arrived in February 2012 and Mingo and Fallon’s entire community rejoiced alongside them. Their prayers had been answered and God’s faithfulness was displayed in a perfect little boy. His name was more than just a unique choice for the couple. It was a symbol of what God has shown them during the most difficult year of their lives. “During our season of trying to have a baby I was riddled by fear. The enemy had me all twisted up and I felt as though I’d never overcome it. There was the fear of never becoming a mom, fear of how Mingo would feel about the possibility of never having children, fear of becoming so bitter I couldn’t overcome it, fear of having a life-long unfilled desire. Within the season of waiting, the Lord, through His word, freed me from the grip of fear. It didn’t cripple me anymore and I took back truth and put on the armor of God. When we found out we were pregnant we knew we wanted our child to grow up as a spiritual warrior never giving into fear of the enemy in any area of their spirit and life. It was then that we chose the name Bravery, which literally means intolerant to fear.”
Filled with hope after these treatments worked, Fallon hoped that a second child wouldn’t be too far out of reach. Now, after four years of trying, the results are still coming back inconclusive. Frustration still surfaces and the emotions tied to this experience are often unexplainable, but both Mingo and Fallon have still kept their eyes on the Lord to take possession and ownership of His promises.
“During this season the Lord moved in my life in more ways that I could ever share: private moments with the Lord that will forever be seared into my spirit. It was a defining moment in my walk with God where I felt forgotten about and then found. I remember journaling one late night after another negative pregnancy test and with tears rolling down my face I wrote that salvation was my greatest gift. It was then that I started journaling more about thankfulness than sorrow and took my rightful place back as a daughter of the King and heir to the great Kingdom that was to come. I chose to believe the God I believed in and even if I never became a mom I would forever proclaim with boldness the goodness of our Father.”
For Fallon, being a mother truly is a gift. The road has been long, winding, and full of ups and downs, but there is not a moment of motherhood that she has wanted to take for granted. Every sleepless night, every disobedient toddler moment, every Ninja Turtles battle, and sweet memory made, has been a gift to her knowing that God gave her something that she wanted and prayed for with all of her strength. Despite the difficult days that inevitably come along with parenting, God gave her a new perspective on cherishing each moment and what a gift life really is. The Lord has also given Mingo and Fallon a testimony to share of His goodness and faithfulness even when life isn’t going as planned.
“Our faith isn’t based on what blessings we receive, but rather who Christ is.”