The country is abuzz about my conversation with Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson at Rock Church in San Diego.
He is dating the singer, Ciara, and said he was choosing not to have sex with her until marriage. He said God spoke to him. He said God wanted him to lead her. I thought sharing his heart was a courageous move and he has received overwhelming support.
However, some have chosen to mock him for the things he said. These critics have raised three questions that I would like to address.
I can totally understand people questioning if God would speak to anyone since so many people worship things that can't talk, such as money, cars, success, and even good deeds. It would be absolutely ridiculous to expect those idols to speak to you, especially with a personal message.
However, hearing God speak isn’t a foreign concept for people who worship a living and loving God. He not only speaks, but He created speech and wants to be involved in our everyday lives.
Every time there is a crisis in our country, we claim to be praying for those who are suffering. If God does not, cannot, or will not respond, why pray at all? If He is really there, and we are praying without expecting a response, why pray? And more importantly, why should He answer?
If you believe that God hears your prayers, you should expect Him to speak to you.
So if God does communicate with us, what would He say about sex? After all, He created it.
There are some in the media that claim waiting until marriage to have sex is 'stupid'. I bet you that this would not be a 'stupid' idea if he were dating their daughter. The thought is the prettier the girl, the more unrealistic it is to wait. It's as though there is no other option.
The word on the street is that you need sex to have fun, express your love, or take your relationship to the next level. But that next level has a price.
Studies show that couples who wait until marriage have a higher quality of sex in marriage, stay together longer, and have more than a 50% lower risk of divorce.
In addition to being an act of pleasure, sex is a bonding act and the weight of that bond can actually crush a relationship if there is no bonding commitment of marriage.
People can feel trapped in a relationship they would otherwise get out of. Has someone ever broken your heart? Have you ever gotten a disease from, or had a baby with someone you couldn't stand? Indeed, there is another side to that 'next level' experience.
To all of you questioning why there is a hole in your heart after all of the sex you’ve had —it won’t go away by having more sex.
What would God tell a man about leading a woman?
When God directs a man to be a leader in his relationship and home, He is directing him to take the initiative to serve his family. God has not directed people to control people. That’s called abuse and slavery. Being the leader means being the servant, not the boss.
It means exercising and creating an environment that fosters freedom, not controlling everyone and every move.
The man is to entrust his strength and determination to God in order to create an environment that protects his family’s ability to develop all of their gifts and talents. He is directed to lay his life down for his wife and family and do whatever is necessary to provide for their needs.
For all of you looking for a good man, put this in your guy filter: Look for a guy who is willing to be a leader, an example of a servant, someone who will take the initiative to look after your needs first and to ensure that your talents and interests are protected. Look for someone who will lay his life down for you, that you might experience God’s best.
If a man does not lead before marriage, chances are he won’t in marriage.
Look for a guy who has sexual discipline and control. If he doesn’t have sexual discipline before marriage, chances are he won’t in marriage.
Finally, there is a God that knows you personally, loves you very much, and has your best interest in mind. There is a God with the answer to every question. After all, that's why He is all-knowing. In fact, He speaks every day. Perhaps you don't hear Him because you haven't decided to listen.
He's been whispering to you all of your life, but perhaps you’ve written His words off as good ideas, déjà vu, or bad pizza.
He is here and desires to speak to you and open the eyes of your heart to His plan for your life. If you would like an introduction, watch this short story.
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