First be sure your life is submitted and surrendered to the Lord, Ephesians 5:21!
1. Psalms 139:23,24; Before you complain ask the Lord to point out anything in your life that is not pleasing to him and remove it.
2. Ask God have you loved according to his word (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)? If not try loving your spouse Gods way expecting nothing in return except for the joy knowing you are being obedient to your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
3. If there is something you have done to offend or hurt your spouse, go to them and apologize specifically for the thing you have done by looking them in the eyes (Colossians 3:13,14)
4. Have some fun together! Both of you come up with 2 or 3 things you would like to do that are fun, and alternativley do them. You will be amazed what a date night or simply having some fun will do for your marriage.
5. Pray and read the word, apart and together!
6. If communication is a challenge try this:
- set some rules, Ephesians 4:29 is a great place to start (just like in sports rules are there so the purpose of order and enjoyment, with out rules there is chaos).
- Pray first, call each other by the name on their birth certificate,
- do not yell (if you must raise your voice take a timeout), allow each other to speak without interruption,
- listen with your eyes and beware of your non verbal communication as in facial expressions (which is 80% of communication),
- if you dont understand something ask and dont assume.
7. SSC- each of you tell one thing you would like your spouse to start doing, stop doing and continue doing. the rules are these things are not up for discussion, the only thing you can ask for is further details of what you need to continue doing.
We are confident in Gods word, that reminds us to trust in Him with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding, in all we do acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5,6)
If you have used the following tools and would like to take next steps to meet with a volunteer marriage coach couple, please complete the profile form HERE.
Thank you and continue growing in Christ!